registries
i’ve been gone for awhile, but that’s not because we haven’t been planning. mostly it’s been little things here and there and small blips of drama (nothing near what i just watched on bridezillas, but interesting and a little too personal to be blog worthy), so nothing much to report. sorry. BUT, i did start registries and here’s what i’ve learned.
an odd custom
let’s back up a minute and just appreciate or show awe to the strange custom that is a gift registry. hey guys, i’m getting married, buy me presents! but not just any present that you choose, get me this one. it’s absurd! it’s extremely convenient for everyone involved, that’s more than true. i don’t have to deal with unwanted gifts and you don’t really have to think about buying me something, you just pick the appropriately priced item off the list. it’s one of the few times in one’s life where you can ask for the moon and people will be more than happy to accommodate you. for an event ridiculed with rules and etiquette, it’s strange to have this seemingly selfish custom so thoroughly accepted by everyone. whatever, i get cool stuff so i’ve moved past that.
the modern registry
like most things related to the wedding industry, stores have gone to great lengths to get you to register with them. it’s so amazingly easy… a little too easy that it’s overwhelming, hah. most places have websites and accounts you can create to register for gifts. instead of going to a store and wandering through it with a hand held scanner or, worse, pen and paper (!!), you point and click over the course of… well, for me, i’ve been working on it for two weeks.
target has wonderfully partnered with amazon, so i don’t even need to create a new login, which i hate. also, amazon has it’s own gift registry, which makes everything possible. you can go reasonable with these websites or get ridic and register with high end stores like tiffany’s! the insanity!
it’s hard, i swear!
but here’s the problem that i’m faced with: what the fuck to register for?? the answer should simply be: whatever the hell you want, but i believe it’s not that simple. on the outside looking in, it seems that i have a blank check to spend and get whatever i want - the ultimate, guilt free shopping spree. however, things are a little complicated. the people i invite to the wedding (or are invited by our families) are actually great people we want to spend the day with, otherwise they wouldn’t have been invited, correct? i can’t in good conscience abuse their willingness to buy me stuff, right?
the answer should be no. and it is. which makes things difficult. i’m a little practical, so i’m not about to pick a lot of crap i don’t need. but if we get too practical, one could argue that i really don’t need anything. brian and i have been living together for almost 6 years. SIX! we have dishes and cups, pots and pans, bedding and towels, etc etc etc. do we really need new stuff? maybe. i suppose people are expecting it and while the purple tupperware plates have served us well for the past six years, we should probably upgrade to more grown-up stuff. so, you’ll find that there.
but after adding that stuff, i had like 10 items… for a guest list of 200. shit.
so, my next question, which i haven’t found an answer to is this: fine china? not gonna lie, we’re not fine china kind of people… like… ever. brian and i were watching a movie last night (i’ve loved you so long, if you must know), and there was this scene of a dinner party. brian was like, “this is so french! they’re sitting around drinking wine and eating baguettes!!” and i was like, “uh, this is what grown ups do, this is a normal dinner party.” his response: “i hope we never do that.” so, there you go.
which brings us back to the beginning: what the hell am i supposed to put on this thing anyway? well, target and other stores have some awesome suggestions. camping gear! bar ware! pet supplies! sheesh. like i said, i’m working on it.
the bottom line… for you
the last thing i’ll mention: pricing. at 25, we have a wide spectrum of people coming out to this event. kids just out of college to my parents’ college friends to people i’ve never met before (that’s another post). how can i put together a registry that’s, ahem, affordable enough for some and not insultingly cheap to others? god knows. i will say that i started a registry at target, bed bath and beyond, and amazon.com. these are all based on registries i’ve seen before (all three of them). perhaps if we go the fine china route, i’ll do something with macy’s, but i can hardly justify picking gifts more than $50 a pop.
